A Friendly Face: Patsy Federici is Nice Neighbor, and More

Patsy Federici is in the middle of telling me the story of how she and her husband met—a charming wartime romance that played out in the hallowed walls of the then-new Federici’s Pizza—when a scruffy, middle-aged man opens the sidedoor of her house and walks into her kitchen.

She cocks her head in his direction and smiles as he wanders around the kitchen.

“How was the vacation?” she says cheerfully.

“Never long enough,” he says, pacing around the kitchen, tapping counters. They chat for a moment before he declares, “I'll be around,” and walks back out the side door.

In this town, she explains, she has a lot of friends and neighbors that just drop by her kitchen’s side door in the middle of a weekday. This one, in particular, was here to help take down Christmas decorations.

“When you’re here as long as we are,” she says of the Federici family, “you all get to know each other pretty well. That's what neighbors do.”

And Patsy Federici is nothing if not neighborly. Freehold.InJersey readers nominated Patsy for the inaugural Nice Neighbor Award, citing her volunteerism with St. Rose of Lima Church, her close friendship with many lifelong residents of the town, and her place as matriarch of seven Federici children, 10 grandchildren, and a pizza empire. But Patsy waves all of that away with a smile.

“It’s too bad you couldn’t have met my husband,” she says, referring to Frank “Spat” Federici, her husband of 54 years and the owner of the iconic pizza parlor on Main Street. He died in April 2009, at 85.

“Spat was just great, everyone loved him,” she goes on, as she has for most of my questions about her. “He was a very good businessman, but he was also friends with everyone.”

Together, the Federicis expanded the pizza business into one of the most popular Italian restaurants in the area and developed a loyal following from the local clientele. They also grew their family and their house on Lincoln Place, did their share of PTA and school board duties, and were active members of St. Rose parish.

"I just do what I can do," Patsy says, shaking her head. "I give whenever I can help."

For many people in town, that help has come at the direst of times. Patsy serves as a Eucharistic minister for sick or homebound parishioners, and on the Bereavement Committee at St. Rose, meeting with families to plan funeral services at the church.

"I go to their house, bring them something, help them talk about how to make the services personal to them. It's very hard, but it's something I can do to help," she explains.

Through her work at the Church and the restaurant, her daughter Lisa tells me, Patsy has made hundreds of friends eager to return the help. When Spat died last January, thousands came out to the memorial service.

"I think they were there for him and for her," Lisa says. "Everyone loves my mother, she is the nicest person you'll ever meet. When they came out that night, it was to comfort her."

In the year since her husband died, Patsy Federici has remained committed to her neighborliness. She continues to work at the restaurant one night every weekend because, she explains, "people like to see me there, it's our business."

Lisa is one of the chefs at Federici’s on the Friday night I drop by to watch Patsy in action, and her assessment is mostly spot-on.

“You’ll never get Mom to talk about herself like that,” she says, shaking her head at her mother's humility. “It’s easy for me to tell you she’s a saint--and she is--but you could never get her to tell you about it."

At the restaurant,  Lisa tells me that the Patsy spends nearly everyday with one of her children, especially since her father died last year.

"It's been hard for her, they were so in love," she said. "But she's so active, she still has so much energy and does so much. She amazes us."

Patsy Federici watches her 3-year-old grandson on weekday afternoons after school, and goes to 8AM Mass every morning at St. Rose to meet up with friends and neighbors from the parish.

"It's one of my places in the community," she says. "When one of us isn't there, everyone knows. We are very connected."

For her, St. Rose has been a focal point the Freehold community during her life.

"You know, we always pray for the people in the community we don't know, too, because when you pray for other people, you are connected to them," she says. "We are very connected there."

The Federici's connections in Freehold run deep. In addition to Federici's on Main Street, her children run Frankie Fed's on Route 33 and Federici's South on Route 9 in Howell. All seven of her children live in and around the town they grew up.

"When you spend your life in the Borough," Patsy tells me, long after the neighborly man has receded outdoors to help with decorations, "everyone seems to know each other."

She gestures to the house behind hers, where her daughter and grandson live. She points to two houses nearby, telling me of her longtime neighbors, now elderly, that she visits with.

"But really," she says smiling, "Spat was just great."

If you have a suggestion for the next Nice Neighbor Award, email colleen@injersey.com.